Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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