Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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