help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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