My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
