On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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