I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
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And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
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It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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