i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
