Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
