I didn't shave. On purpose
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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