Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
