I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
