the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
