guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
