"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
we made out on top of his cat.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
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My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
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It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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