I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
