If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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