Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
