He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize