He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize