so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
