evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
