i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
