i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize
