i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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