By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
