What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
