worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
