I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
