wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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