I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
