I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
