Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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