What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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