I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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