I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
