hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
you told grandpa to call you daddy
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize