Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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