They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
