He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
