talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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