based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
