It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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