honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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