after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
The air taste purple.
Randomize
