I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
