i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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