Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
So squirting runs in the family.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
