you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
