Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
