i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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