sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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