Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
