i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
