so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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