...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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