He had one of those small greek statue penises
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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