I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
