12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
