The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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