Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
