WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
