The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
