IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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