The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
