She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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